To my Flames Family, I hope you can understand my decision more after reading this letter. I appreciate how much you wanted me to stay and I hope you can see how hard this decision was for me.
Before I was a hockey player, I was a hockey fan. I totally get it. It’s hard not to see any free agency decision as a betrayal.
All I would ask though is for people to hear me out, as a human being.
Last week I kept thinking about the conversation I had with my parents toward the end of my junior year at Boston College. I had the option to stay at BC and become a free agent and sign with any NHL team the following year, or report to the Flames. But all I wanted was to be a Calgary Flame. I felt that I owed it to the organization who took a chance on a five-six, 130-pound forward from the USHL. I wanted to show them that I could be the player they believed I could be.
When I was drafted in 2011, I honestly couldn’t point out Calgary on a map. I knew about Iggy and the red jerseys and that was really it. But I learned quickly about what it meant to play for this city. I couldn’t believe the comments from people asking me to sign and become a Flame right away.
“Johnny!! Please sign.” “Will you play for us next year???” “Did you sign yet????”
And when I went up to Calgary for development camps, I saw how deep a connection the people had to their hockey team. Even just for games made up of prospects, we’d get so many fans at the rink.
This city is awesome, I thought to myself. This is a hockey city.
Ever since those early days, I’ve understood: Hockey in Calgary is just different.
It’s a special place with great people.
For pretty much my whole life, I’ve been obsessed with the game of hockey, and with getting better at it. I’ve worked my tail off every summer to come back better than before. I’ve always believed that hard work can get you anywhere in this sport.
But as much as I love hockey … family is everything to me. It’s the most important connection I have. And a few years ago, I think I started to realize how much you sacrifice when you give 100% to your career. I felt like I needed to do more to center my family in my life after we experienced some hard times.
My dad’s heart attack in 2018 was a big moment for that. It was really so bad and he’s lucky to be here today. A very scary situation. And seeing him in that hospital bed … it hit me extremely hard. I thought about how little I’d seen my parents since I’d been in the league. These moments and experiences change you as a person.
Another big moment for me was when I met Meredith. After my dad’s heart attack, I bought a vacation home in hopes that my family could spend time together and to have a place for my dad to relax more after we nearly lost him forever. And that’s how we met … Meredith was my next-door neighbor. She was a NICU nurse at the time. I was so blown away by the work that she was doing. And over the course of our relationship, I’ve learned a lot from her about how to balance those two things: a passion for your work with a passion for the people in your life. I’ve learned a lot about the person I want to be. Which is a good son, a good husband, and (soon!) a good father.
And, in the end, trying to find this balance is what this decision came down to.
